Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. Every moment of every day, I am surrounded by friends who affirm me and encourage me. Encouragement is basically my love language, y'all, and all of you have surrounded me with it. Thank you for not doubting me. Thank you for your confidence in me even when I didn't want to have any myself.
Thank you for listening to my words, even the weird ones. Somehow, some way, someone (Chaz) always heard the bizarre things that came out of my mouth: "Sometimes I say things and people hear them." Thank you for valuing even the awkward things I said, as well as these words here on the blog, and everything in between. Here I have been heard.
Thank you for adventuring with me. I love adventure. It's the best. It's what this little blog is all about. It's how I want to live my life. I dream of doing things that are hard and brave and involve risk. Together, we have explored new cities with unabashed enthusiasm. Together we have experienced a new culture. We have all stepped out of our comfort zones together, vocally, dramatically, culturally, and otherwise, and this brings me such joy. To do new and sometimes hard things takes courage. None of you lack for courage. You have shown me a little bit more of what it is to be an artist.
Thank you to the faculty for pushing me. I am always amazed at all that teachers see. You see things that not even the students see in themselves. You may not know it, but I love being pushed and stretched to my limits. It inspires me and makes me better. And I love doing the work involved. Thank you for sending me back to the drawing board time and again. Thank you for constantly helping me to become better. Thank you for not allowing me to stay where I was. Thank you for seeing in me things that I didn't see in myself.
Thank you for taking me as I am: a little mess of a twenty-year-old, Paleo, running, bookish soprano who thought she was a mezzo and cries when she is frustrated and is too serious for her own good. Thank you for never giving up on me, and for loving me.
Thank you to all the beautiful people who have become my friends. I am so overwhelmed by the wonder of all of you. Thank you to Janell for your endless encouragement, to Ceci and KaLee for watching Downton Abbey with me, to Chaz for never failing to make me laugh. To Adriana for being my first friend here and for having an endless series of jokes with me (She's scared of teddy bears). To James for being the ultimate sassafrass. To Bailey for being an opera nerd with me. To Bri and Cloe for being the best of neighbors and going everywhere with me. To Audrey, for being the sweetest ever. To everyone, for telling me that I was a soprano for real, for all the encouragement and stimulating discussions, for one of the most positive environments I've ever been honored to be a part of. I wish I could stay with y'all forever.
Because that's what I'll miss, really. That's what it's about. I will miss Falmouth and all the beautiful places that we've been. But mostly I will miss not waking up and seeing you all every day. I will miss not working with you. I will miss the classes and the lessons with this group, this faculty -- these people.
I wish I could be here forever.
I have to write this in silence. No music, nothing else around me but the sound of cars on the road outside. It feels like it has more weight that way.
I am so little. I am so the opposite of enough. I have not the words to tell you what you mean to me. I wish this letter was everything I want it to be. All I have to give you are what God has given me to give away: my singing and my words.
So here are my inadequate little words to take with you when we all return to our places.
I love y'all. These have been some of the best three weeks of my life. I have learned so much and been pushed so hard. I am different than when I came. And if it were up to me, I'd spend much longer here.
You have given me so much joy, and I thank my God every time I remember you. I hope I have encouraged you all in the way you have encouraged me -- the way people like you deserve to be encouraged and affirmed.
Words are a failure, but as we know -- we who are becoming artists more and more each day -- we know that where words fail us, music speaks.
Let's enjoy our last days here. Let's savor them and watch the beauty of them. Let's be fully here, now. Let's sing our hearts out. Let's have courage.
And let's never stop being the glorious community that we are.
All my love,